Having ended up in a pretty swish House, the minor problem has to be faced. We have NO furniture, Plates, Utensils ETC.

Therefore I decided to write a guide of what to do when you're faced with this situation.

Please Note: I don't condone theft in anyway, however when hard times come you need to learn to survive! (Even if it means stealing from charity (joke)) [hehe- if only they knew! - shawson]

Firstly get the priority's right, Christmas would not be a Christmas without a Tree, having spoken about this with the other people in the house, cutting one down would be the best idea. IE. Jumping into a hotel or someone's Garden and quickly sawing one.

However things never go as planned and we end up getting drunk one night and stealing $40s worth of Tree from the local grocery store and bunging it in the taxi @ 00:10 not looking too dodgy or anything.

Now taking up its main achievement in life, sitting in the kitchen, being loved by the inexpensive decorations, consisting of miniatures and beer cans cut into star shapes and strips.

Step 1: Get Drunk

Step 2: Spontaneous Grab a Tree

Step 3: Decorate with Rubbish and Cheap Stuff

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Furniture

This would not be too much of a problem, however if you don't want to get something scabby then your out of luck. The local Reuse it centre would be the destination, here we picked up mattresses $10(£5 approx), sofas $20 (£10 approx) and some plates $3 (£6approx) and you can guess that the price represents the quality.

Step 1: Go to the Reuse it centre

Step 2: Blag some bloke with a pickup truck (which everyone has) to take the stuff back to the House.

Step 3: Don't get drunk until you have lifted the stuff up the stairs.

Tip: Denial all knowledge of the dents and destruction left in the walls to the landlord.

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Glasses and Plates

These would be the easiest item to fill the empty shelf's with, a trip to all local pubs and restaurants secretly proves very handy. Simple slip a glass and/or cutely into your bag every time you go out and you will soon have a proud homely collection which everyone can use.

Method 2: This consists of Ordering a pitcher with 8 glasses and just before you're about to leave pack the lot (in a not chinking way) into your bag, just don't get caught! Or if stopped by a member of staff because they have seen you, give the bag to another group member who doesn't have a clue what is going on. (Me)

 
The Glass Trophy Cabernet.

Step 1: Go to Pub or Restaurant

Step 2: Pretend to Drop your cutlery when finished or pretend to play drinking games that involve filling your bag.

Step 3: Be brave and chuck it in your bag.

Step 4: Place them neatly in the cupboard for all friends to admire.

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Toilet Rolls, Cleaning Equipment, Pens, Shampoo.

Due to working in a Hotel Housekeeping the main objectives of this job would be:

Step 1: Get off your ass and find a job (unlike me being the 2 nd to last in the house to find work (out of 8))

Step 2: Case the Joint out, Security wise, entrances/exits

Step 3: Stash the stuff in your bag or pocket.

Step 4: Walk out, smiling happily at superior members of staff, oblivious to the fact your pockets are full of company stock.

Method 2: Get a Job where everyone in your house works! Do the joint over together! Walking out with electrical equipment waving at fellow workers and security friends.

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Get Pissed Cheap

Beer not being cheap, this would be the most expensive process so far, yet to find a cheap beer scam, other that illegal moonshine, which finding the recipe out would prove tricky.

The Beer Bong would be a good easy option, this would be the quickest way to get drunk. Pete the major chief of operations constructs one from an empty sprite bottle and a pipe stolen from the house (being renovated) next door.

Step 1: Cut bottom of Sprite bottle off. Not being to eager and drinking it first.

Step 2: Push large pipe into the neck.

Step 3: Cover end of pipe and fill with beer. Concentrating not to spill precious lager when already intoxicated.

Step 4: Place in Mouth and Prepare for the rush of lager.

Step 5: Go to Step 3 and repeat many times until successfully feeling the effects.

Pete sharing his vase knowledge of crazy antics, concentrating hard for the pouring process, yet at the same time being pretty hammered.

Tip: For added entertainment film the process competing with other house members in time trails.

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Haircuts

Another money saving tip includes getting another person to chop random chunks of hair off and calling it a hair cut. Cash saving but not by a lot! But it seems funny to do!!?

Step 1: Buy a cheap pair of scissors (Probably the same price as a decent haircut) but ours were stolen from the local place of work!

Step 2: Get other house member to chop the mullet.

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A good rule of thumbs is "Its not what you know its who you know" this process means using all job perks to the maximum extend and taking random bolx to people in order to obtain discount in local shops etc.

In our scenario this involved Adam (know as ladder for his 6' height) obtaining a simple key in order for him to use the bog at work. But alas this key also gained free access to the Hot tub and Gym. So without wastage heading on down to use the facilities free of charge.

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In conclusion I hope everyone has learned a valuable lesson. Just remember the main rules:

Dom.